Yorkie Bar
Don’t come to Yorkshire, it’s a terrible placeFull of flat caps who get reet in yer faceIt’s cold and it’s wet and dirty as hellAnd the countryside’s full of such god-awful smells The people are dreadful and don’t like strangersIf…
🔉 P’Terry need t’pee.
Pterry the pterodactylWas having a pterrible timeHe pthought he needed a pHe’d held it a very long time Pterry was ptruly pterrifiedAnd pthought it would last foreverUntil T’Poet from Yorkshire saidIt was only a ptyping error. PJ.© 2024
🔉 Old Age.
Old age is a gift that just keeps on givingYou move along slowlybut it’s not really living It gives you aches and painsthat you never thought you’d haveYou also start to changeand become just like your Mum or Dad Your…
Sweeties with Menaces
We’re going out tonightTo teach our kids new tricksWe’ll get all dressed up in disguiseGo out and get our kicks Go and visit all the old folkGive them a big surpriseWe’ll send the kids up all aloneTo knock upon their…
A Break in the Country
Janine couldn’t understand why anyone liked the country. It looked pretty enough from a distance. Okay from a car with the windows shut and the air con on; even better from a plane. Yesterday her mother had pointed out a…
Meat Pies, Scarves And Bovril
(It’s a funny old game) Meat Pies, Scarves and BovrilStanding in the crowdFootball in the seventiesWomen not allowed Travelling with our teamIn our special packFind the oppositionGo on the attack Football in the eightiesLots of tears aboutStadiums come crashing downBlame…
Tha No’s
I knew she was from YorkshireBy the way she just said NOIf she’d been a GeordieIt might have been haway orIf she was from ScotlandIt would certainly be och nayNow, if she was from LondonIt might have been OkBut as…
Backwards
Let’s be scientific, and look at hieroglyphicsThey’re really just daft pictures on the wallAnd now we have emojis on our phonesIt’s all about encryptionForget about the dictionWhen a smiley yellow face can say it all It’s shorthand for the massesWe…
🔉Seaside
I took a body to the beachI swear it was not mineThe costume, well, it used to fitI should have taken that as a sign I’d really worked so hardTo get myself in shapePerhaps I really should not have hadThat…
A Romp at Midnight
Oh I do like to roll among the leavesUnclothed, I feel such a teaseEspecially at night and under the moonWhen he says… ‘Oh babe it’ll have to be soon’ Tonight is the night, we can’t wait any moreAnd how he…