Let’s be scientific, and look at hieroglyphicsThey’re really just daft pictures on the wallAnd now we have emojis on our phonesIt’s all about encryptionForget about the dictionWhen a smiley yellow face can say it all It’s shorthand for the massesWe…
I took a body to the beachI swear it was not mineThe costume, well, it used to fitI should have taken that as a sign I’d really worked so hardTo get myself in shapePerhaps I really should not have hadThat…
Oh I do like to roll among the leavesUnclothed, I feel such a teaseEspecially at night and under the moonWhen he says… ‘Oh babe it’ll have to be soon’ Tonight is the night, we can’t wait any moreAnd how he…
Mum was always adamant that the date was meant to be. And William and myself have felt it was right and proper that we celebrate our birthdays every four years. We’ve had such fun. We’ve watched bemused faces when we…
I don’t do drugsI don’t backcomb my hairI don’t want to be famousBut it just isn’t fair I’m too bloody oldAnd nobody caresI write poems for funThat I now want to share The publishers tell meThat I’m far too oldThey…
I love skinny blondes, and I also love brunettesThe only trouble is I haven’t met the right one yetMaybe it’s a redhead, who will come and steal my heartOr a silver haired old lady, looking for a brand-new start Dating…
There was a man from ScotlandBorn in Glasgow by the seaHis given name was William,A Big Yin, wild and free He told stories from his homelandDressed up like the PopeMade us cry with laughterGave sad wee bastards hope Sang songs…
We all like magicBut, Sylvesters show was tragicWhen he tried to make his sister disappearThere were many loud bangsBright lights, and several clangsAnd all they ever foundWas his left shoe and her right ear. PJ.© 2024
I never enjoy being enjoyableIt seems too much effort to meI’d much rather sit watching tellyAlone with a big pot of tea Maybe it’s ‘cos I’m from YorkshireWe’re known to be miserable getsMy friend who comes from NewcastleSays, there’s really…
We used to worship our pint potsMy good friend Derek and meFrom 12 o’clock on Sunday morningRight up ’til a quarter to three We’d stand in the queue, congregatingOur friends would save us a pewAll sitting around the big tableTheir…