Web of Lies
The headlines keep on comingEach much bigger than the lastWe haven’t got a minuteThe internet is moving fast The world is coming to an end, if Russia doesn’t bendPrince Harry is in trouble, his family is befuddledAnd Boris is returning…
P.J.
Sunday Worship
We used to worship our pint potsMy good friend Derek and meFrom 12 o’clock on Sunday morningRight up ’til a quarter to three We’d stand in the queue, congregatingOur friends would save us a pewAll sitting around the big tableTheir…
Elvis
I have a lovely friendWho is so obsessed with ElvisShe tells me it’s about the voiceNot all about the pelvis His voice is so etherealHe always makes me moanHe hasn’t left the building thoughHe’s an alien, he’s gone home PJ.©…
T’Poet
Another poet from YorkshireWhat’s gone wrong with the bloody placeWe’re meant to be dour and taciturnNot emoting all over the place They’ve gone an made this un t’laureateHe says he don’t care ’bout the moneyNow listen lad tha’s from YorkshireSaying…
Flip
Roll up, roll up and play the gameGood luck is at your sidePlace your bet, make your choiceCheck out or let it rideYou think that you are in controlBut the Fates they will decide. FLIP. LIFE – is just a…
Werewolves of Bempton
There is a quaint little town in North YorkshireCalled Bempton. It’s right by the seaIt’s famous for its cliffs and wild birdsAnd this seemed quite attractive to me So, I took myself off for a visitBought a ticket and got…
Pam and Vera
Polythene Pam and Vinyl VeraTwo old birds from a different eraPretty young things from the age of punkBrassy and sassy and permanently drunkGrey haired now, and in a permanent funk Swore they’d live very different livesYet both ended up as…
Goosed
Christmas is coming and the Goose is getting fatI looked into the mirror and said,Well, that is just a factMy doctor said it’s serious,that I should really lose some weightSo, this year I’m going to havejust sprouts upon me plateAnd…
The Christmas Visit
The first time my wife came to see me after our enforced separation I was more than a little surprised. It had been over a year now and to be quite honest I never thought that I would see her…
Dust
“I’ll show you fear,” the cowboy saidAs we travelled the Wastelands together“I’ll give you a handful of dust” “There is nothing to fear from dust,” I said“I keep three boxes by my bedThese are my rocksGround down by lifeNot living…