I never enjoy being enjoyable
It seems too much effort to me
I’d much rather sit watching telly
Alone with a big pot of tea
Maybe it’s ‘cos I’m from Yorkshire
We’re known to be miserable gets
My friend who comes from Newcastle
Says, there’s really no hope for you, pet
We’re taught from being young children
Never ever to crack a small smile
If you do they say you’re not normal
Then run from you, mile after mile
When we go out, our drink is Best Bitter
No Lager or Whiskey for us
You can make a pint last forever
Which of course, is for us such a plus
Our favourite food is Yorkshire pudding
Battered, plain, served with gravy or sweet
The more Yorkshire pudding you manage
We’ll make sure, on your plate, there’s more meat
I love that I come from North Yorkshire
Men are men, and women the boss
I married a woman from Scotland
To Yorkshire girls, not such a great loss
They think that up north of the border
That in Scotland they’re miserable sods
Just try coming down into Yorkshire
We’ll show you we’re miseries Gods
Remember when you visit Yorkshire
Bring cash, nowt- here is given for free
You can have all the fresh air and views
But we’ll charge you for Yorkshire cream teas
Make sure you don’t come here too often
You might get infected and stay
We don’t really want any more people
We wish you would all go away
It’s hard sometimes living in Yorkshire
It’s filling up, with many strange folk
They drink G and T on the terrace
Say ‘cor blimey,’ and laugh at in jokes
It’s important if you move to Yorkshire
Heed advice that I gave to my son
Never ever to show your true feelings
Except to those ones that you love
Then only together in private
Don’t ever let people forget
Reputations important in Yorkshire
Pass it on, we’re all miserable gets
We’re not really stupid in Yorkshire
Just ordinary, plain – speaking folk
You see when you live in God’s country
The rest of the world is the joke
We really enjoy being miserable
We’re just Yorkshire folk and we’re tough
We do have a great sense of humour
But, it’s as dry as like in the Sahara
And as daft as a worn – out old brush.
PJ.
© 2019
The first line here is from an episode of Last of the Summer Wine.
Roy Clarke writes about a load of old men doing daft things while the women watch them and shake their heads. No one smiles and the most miserable character is called Smiler. The women get all the best lines.
Yorkshire, and Yorkshire humour to a tee.
“Yorkshire Folk” is a delightful and humorous poem that captures the essence of Yorkshire character and culture. With a wry smile, the poet paints a picture of the famously stoic and frugal Northerners, poking fun at their reputation for being miserable, their love of Yorkshire pudding, and their no-nonsense approach to life. The poem’s affectionate jabs at Yorkshire culture showcase the self-deprecating humor that the region is known for, while also highlighting the deep pride and sense of belonging that comes with being from “God’s own country.”
This poem is just one gem from Peter J. Watson’s collection “Daftness and Other Afflictions.” Watson, a Yorkshire native himself, brings a lifetime of observations and experiences to his poetry, capturing the essence of Northern English life with wit and warmth. His work is relatable and down-to-earth, offering readers a chance to laugh, reflect, and perhaps see a bit of themselves in his verses. If you enjoy poetry that speaks to everyday experiences and appreciate a good chuckle, you’ll find plenty to love in this book.
