February 29th
Mum was always adamant that the date was meant to be. And William and myself have felt it was right and proper that we celebrate our birthdays every four years. We’ve had such fun. We’ve watched bemused faces when we…
Published
I don’t do drugsI don’t backcomb my hairI don’t want to be famousBut it just isn’t fair I’m too bloody oldAnd nobody caresI write poems for funThat I now want to share The publishers tell meThat I’m far too oldThey…
Blondie
I love skinny blondes, and I also love brunettesThe only trouble is I haven’t met the right one yetMaybe it’s a redhead, who will come and steal my heartOr a silver haired old lady, looking for a brand-new start Dating…
The Welder
There was a man from ScotlandBorn in Glasgow by the seaHis given name was William,A Big Yin, wild and free He told stories from his homelandDressed up like the PopeMade us cry with laughterGave sad wee bastards hope Sang songs…
A bit of Magic
We all like magicBut, Sylvesters show was tragicWhen he tried to make his sister disappearThere were many loud bangsBright lights, and several clangsAnd all they ever foundWas his left shoe and her right ear. PJ.© 2024
Yorkshire Folk
I never enjoy being enjoyableIt seems too much effort to meI’d much rather sit watching tellyAlone with a big pot of tea Maybe it’s ‘cos I’m from YorkshireWe’re known to be miserable getsMy friend who comes from NewcastleSays, there’s really…
Sunday Worship
We used to worship our pint potsMy good friend Derek and meFrom 12 o’clock on Sunday morningRight up ’til a quarter to three We’d stand in the queue, congregatingOur friends would save us a pewAll sitting around the big tableTheir…
🔉Elvis
I have a lovely friendWho is so obsessed with ElvisShe tells me it’s about the voiceNot all about the pelvis His voice is so etherealHe always makes me moanHe hasn’t left the building thoughHe’s an alien, he’s gone home PJ.©…
Avoid the Saintly
– Beware the friend who’s holier than thou The one who thinks you’re a miserable cow – Forever cheerful, bright and breezy She can’t take grief it makes her queasy – Given news of the old and infirm She’s there…
🔉Queen’s English
A woman on the radio said anus loud and clear, In truth she’d said another word that slipped right past my ear. Her gist was of one’s burden, re-tuned my sense of hearing. For the onus was on me to…