BROKEN

A Domestic Curse

Aunt Flora left the Missus an old Egyptian vase.
It was passed through generations and used to be her ma’s.
I never really liked it — it was ugly, green, and tall,
Looked like an old crustacean… mi Missus at nightfall!

It was never filled with flowers, just dusted every day.
From where I sat, it was even worse, as the sun shone through the bay.
The vase would eerily blink at me from the sill, just on my right,
For etched on the glass, a reptile’s face — which haunted me day and night.

One day, when the Missus went shopping, I was chasing a fly with my paper.
I waved and I swatted with gusto, and I smelled such a strange vapour.
I swept up the pieces — all three — into the dustpan and went to my shed.
A peculiar feeling came over me… I could hear whispers and sensed evil and dread.

I taped it and glued it, then smoothed down the cracks.
I even watched YouTube for glacial hacks.
And still it persisted, to make me ask why —
That grotesque old vase watched with one evil eye!

Repaired best I could, it now sat where it should,
And waited for the Missus to come back.
“You touched my vase?” She turned it around.
“You’ll be cursed now forever, our Jack.”

Only us womenfolk, descended from her,
Can handle the goddess named AMMIT.
You’ve done it now, you stupid old fool —
And the mortgage not paid… oh damn it.”

Well, she went on for hours about troubles and strife
She’d suffer when I’m dead and gone.
So I searched on the internet to remedy it all,
From the start — when it went all wrong.

I found what I wanted — a vase, this time blue,
Etched with Ares the God.
See how her Egyptian now fairs with my Greek?
I’ll show her… daft sod.

They stood side by side for a week, maybe two,
An occasional rumble we heard…
Then they both shattered, out of the blue.
The Missus? Never said a word.