A feature of unresolved trauma is an intolerance of a certain innocence that seems to arise in non-traumatised others. This intolerance can be unbearable and lead to aggressive and hurtful reactions to those that are perceived as ‘delightfully unaware’ of just how nasty things can get. These reactions are a function of the trauma and without recognition they can lead to isolation and loneliness in traumatised individuals. In this short essay I hope to clarify this phenomena and suggest its possible mechanisms.
Defining the phenomena.
Individuals who suffer psychological trauma find it difficult to return to the social identity they previously had. They may find trust difficult as well as learning to deal with a variety of triggering phenomena. Triggers are sensory cues that remind the individual of their traumatic experience and are similar to phobias. A commonly recognised trigger sudden, explosive sound of fireworks might remind a traumatised individual of the munitions of war. Triggers can be subtle however such as a change in the tone of voice, a particular brand, accent or smell.
Triggers remind the individual of their previous trauma and are associated with fear and occasionally aggression. Resentment of the Innocent is not trigger based however, instead, it tends to remind the individual of their attitudes before they become traumatised. Here, the traumatised individual is reminded of their own, untraumatised attitudes prior to the traumatic experience.
We can observe Resentment of the Innocent when intolerance arises in a traumatised individual towards those who appear dangerously naive. This intolerance is hostile and usually results in an attempt to ‘educate’ the ‘innocent’ individual about their ‘dangerous naivety.’ This is rarely effective and tends to confuse its target, who often cannot understand as they are missing the context of the traumatic experience. Imagine being told we are being irresponsible for flying in an aircraft from a victim of an airplane accident. We might understand what and why we are being advised to never fly, but without the actual experience of aircraft- related terror we cannot take it too seriously.
Recognition.
Traumatised individuals commonly fail to recognise Resentment of the Innocent, yet it can have a very destructive influence over their relationships with their family and society in general. They become increasingly unheard, only other individuals who have suffered similar trauma can ever identify with their viewpoint. They tend to alienate themselves and feel that even very caring friends and family ‘just don’t get it.’
The intolerance arises when attitudes are expressed that fail to recognise the true significance of the traumatic experience. The individual feels they are doing the right thing, warning others of a danger that only a few people take seriously. If these attitudes are not adjusted in recognition of this warning, intolerance and hostility is overwhelming and this can be very destructive to the relationship.
The phenomena that triggers Resentment of the Innocent arises in others as they express their apparently naive beliefs. This creates a sense of helplessness and hopelessness in the traumatised individual and fosters alienation. Unless one is aware of this phenomena it is natural to blame others and the individual suffers isolation and loneliness.
Mechanism.
It isn’t obvious, but I believe the triggering emotion is based on jealousy.
Jealousy is a form of aggression and is a resentment towards another who has success or achievements. Envy is closely related, but is associated with desire and not aggression. In my experience, hostility is always present which suggests that jealousy is the primary mechanism.
Resentment can arise towards any individuals that express what is perceived as naivety. If the traumatised individual cares for the individual who triggered the resentment there might be an attempt to ‘educate’ them. This typically fails due to the presence of anger but can work if the traumatised individual holds relative authority over the person being ‘educated’. In those who express naivety but are strangers, often the anger is manifested along with disgust or incredulity.
Jealously is one of the most difficult issues to recognise, it is often denied with sincerity and it can take some time to accept as a probable mechanism. I suspect those innocent attitudes that most closely match the traumatised pre-trauma attitudes are going to be the most effective at triggering the resentment. This reminds the individual of their own innocence, which is incorrectly blamed as one of the reasons why the trauma might have occurred.
Following trauma there is an attempt by the individual to avoid any similar experiences. Whilst some trauma is unavoidable, it might be postulated that if one didn’t have these innocent views, one might have avoided putting oneself in the situation where trauma occurred. For example, an appreciation of the horror of war, or the experience of an aircraft disaster might have prevented the trauma entirely.
Psychological trauma transcends the identity. This means the individual is often helpless in addressing the deeper mechanisms. It is not too far fetched to imagine the traumatised individual resents others, even those they care about, who are not completely committed to avoid the traumatic event that injured them. To not take this seriously is a subtle disregard to their perceived causes and conditions of their own trauma. Living with a chronic and disabling psychological condition and recognising ‘others’ apparently living with similar ‘dangerous’ attitudes appears reckless whilst also failing to acknowledge and take the trauma one suffered seriously.
Resolution.
Dealing with psychological trauma is complicated. The individual who suffered trauma must deal with chronic fear that arises, often, uncontrollably. This fear is real, but it arrises through conditions that, to the majority, are benevolent. It can be very challenging for friends and family to respond respectfully to this real fear with largely, benevolent triggers. Add in Resentment of the Innocent and it can be difficult for the traumatised individual to avoid isolation and loneliness. During this progressive isolation, the suffering individual really feels that others, and society in general don’t get it and they behave recklessly.
Resentment of the Innocent is just one of the phenomena that arises which chronic, unresolved trauma. However, given it is almost always associated with aggression and hostility it probably plays a pivotal role in worsening social isolation. Although my proposed mechanism is jealousy, initially it might be better to simply describe the phenomena and bring it to conscious awareness. This can help mitigate the phenomena as individuals who recognise it in themselves can adjust their responses by acknowledging it being a symptom of their own trauma, rather than a problem with somebody else.
(C) 2024 Simon Robinson.
